Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The first post!
I can remember waking up in the hospital bed at St Vincents, it was my first night there and the only information I knew was that there was something called a mass inside of me. I come to find out now that a mass is just a word doctors use when they don't have a name for what they are looking at. I was scared on that day, only because millions of thoughts went through my head on what the word mass could possibly mean, but I will tell you the truth, Cancer was never one of them. It was not until a few days later when a doctor came into my room, he tried to explain to me that there was something in my body that did not belong. There was something about this doctor that I did not like, he was cold, and he seemed like he had no idea what was going on. Finally i asked one of my loved ones what was going on. I said in such a voice of disbelief "do I have cancer"?....the looks in every ones eyes, the way the doctor couldn't tell me what was going on...I began to cry....long and hard, family came up to me and said things like "You will beat this", and "don't worry, the doctors are amazing"...but at the time...i did not hear one word. I was in a different world, and i knew from that day on, my life would not be the same. It took a few days, and a few meetings with doctors for me to realize, that I was only 16...I have a whole life to live....i cant let this son of a bitch cancer come in and try to change that!...so from that moment on my mind has been set....and i have no doubt in my mind..that i will kick the shit out of this god damn cancer, and will go on to live my life the way it is supposed to be....HEALTHY!!!! ...i know it may take a while, and some shitty times are ahead..but i will keep my head up and my spirits high....so post some thoughts or ideas..anything u want really...and i will be on here updating and telling you about my experiences, and how i feel!!